


a symphony of blues

by gayNE



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kisses, Lots of Color, M/M, Maybe too much reference to color, Missing someone, Phone Calls, Synesthesia, classic balcony scene, i love my balcony scenes, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:49:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22468165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayNE/pseuds/gayNE
Summary: “How long?” George asks. His eyes sting but he’ll be damned if he lets tears fall.“I don’t know,” Will responds, voice quiet like he’s worried George could break, “I just - I don't know.”-George is in love with Will, but things are more complicated than he wishes.
Relationships: Alex Elmslie/James Marriott (background), George Andrew/Will Lenney
Comments: 6
Kudos: 136





	a symphony of blues

**Author's Note:**

> hi so. this is fully a vent/self indulgent fic, but i like it none the less. wahey for synesthesia and angst! (happy ending tho, i promise). lowkey fits the song stupid for you by waerparks, but the colors are reversed

The breeze runs through his hair sending a shiver down George's neck. It was Will's idea, to watch the clouds dance through the afternoon sky, but he hardly minds. 

Will's actually been talking for a few minutes now, but all George can feel is blue. It's not the same brightness as the sky, a bit softer and muted. He loves Will's voice. 

"George, are you even listening, mate?" Will pushes him lightly. His hands on him are blue as well, but it's electric. A bright cyan as Will grins, dripping into pools of royal blue mist. 

"I'm listening," George smiles, then sighs, "I'm lying."

Will shakes his head but his lips are still twisted in an ocean blue smile, "I hate you," Will says, soft laughter feeling like a rich cerulean. "I'm also lying."

"I think I'd be sad if you hated me," George decides, reaching his hand out to tangle his fingers with Will's. 

George is yellow, and mixing his golds with Will's sea makes swirls of emeralds. He has to close his eyes, but he can still feel the colors pulsing as his heart beats and god it's so overwhelming. 

"You're blue," George says, quietly, running his thumb across Will's hand. Grass was poking at his skin through his shirt but he can't even bother to care. 

"I'm what?" Will asks, sounding curious and not in a judgmental way. 

"Blue," George says, "Like a clear sea in some exotic holiday spot. Or like the sky right before it reaches afternoon."

Will is quiet for a moment, but he speaks again as he pulls George's hand closer to his face, "What color is Alex?"

George hums and laughs lightly as Will's lips graze over his knuckles, "Alex is a bold pink - more warm toned, but very striking."

"James?"

"A dark, deep purple."

"Fraser?"

"The color of a tangerine."

He can tell Will is smiling without even opening his eyes, which he does do eventually. 

"And what about you?"

"Yellow."

"Like the color of a sunflower?" Will asks, resting their joined hands on his chest. 

"Yeah, exactly," George says. 

A cloud above them looks a bit like a dog, and Will finds this very important as he gasps loudly and points it out. George feels soft, like the blues and yellows and in turn greens of their love felt so light and pure.

When they walk into George's flat, Alex is there, and so is James. 

Their love is vivid too, the reddish pinks and deep purples seem to fit together like puzzle pieces. Alex is slotted between James legs, back against his chest. 

“I was wondering where you’d run off to,” Alex mumbles, clearly half asleep.

George notices that Will’s hand disappears from his when he sees other people in the room, which makes his chest drop. James is running his fingers through Alex’s hair and George feels a yearning. Not to be in Alex’s place, or even James’, but to be as open as they are about their love. 

He understands, though, why Will isn’t ready for people to know about the part of him he’d hid for so long; it still hurt that he couldn’t kiss him in front of their friends, or have him spend the night at his flat instead of Will and Gee’s when she’s not home. 

Will seems to dim, and George wishes he could brighten him up like he does for him. George makes some excuse about video preparation and drags Will to his room. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know they’d be here,” George says, shutting his door and wrapping his arms around Will’s hips. He smiles weakly, 

“It’s not your fault, Alex bloody lives here I should’ve known better. It’s okay though, we’re doing video prep, right?” He smiles wider and the blue feels stronger, kissing his forehead in a green hue. Magical. 

* * *

“How long?” George asks. His eyes sting but he’ll be damned if he lets tears fall. 

“I don’t know,” Will responds, voice quiet like he’s worried George could break, “I just - I don't know.”

“What about your channel? Your roommate? Your friends?” He neglects saying what he wants to. _What about me_?

Will looks sad, but that almost makes George angry. How can he be sad when he’s the one leaving? He takes George’s hand, and he can’t stay mad when the blue tickles at his fingertips.

His chest turns. A muddy green that makes his chest feel too heavy, like mold clinging to bread. 

“I don’t want you to go,” George says, letting himself shed the tears that he could no longer force down. 

“We can call,” Will offers, words weak.

“You want to?” George asks, then he purses his lips, “I feel like it’d make me miss you even more.”

“I just need time,” Will explains for the fiftieth time. He doesn’t like this shade of blue, almost gray hue that left him wanting more. So much more. 

George’s forehead presses to Will’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Will whispers, indigo and violet erupting around George as he lets the words lift his soul. 

He wants to respond, tell him how much he loves him, say he’ll wait right where he is until Will is ready, but all he can do is cry. He lets his tears paint Will’s shirt as he sobs into the indigo-violet-gray air, and it all feels wrong.

* * *

“Do you miss him?” Alex asks, lips hovering above his beer.

"Of course I miss him," George says, words turning dark without intention. 

Alex doesn't speak, then, just reaches over and joins their hands. Reddish-pinks sooth and erode at his worries and then, and only then since Will's been gone, does George feel like someone understands him. 

"He'll be back," Alex says, "We're still his best mates, after all."

George feels a lump in his throat, "Alex," He says, heavy and purple. "I'm in love with Will."

Alex parts his lips and his eyebrows furrow, looking at him with what surprised George, genuine confusions, "You like Will... In a romantic way?"

He swallows. They’re sat on James’ porch, Kenji is running through the grass and Fraser is asleep on the couch inside - he’d dozed off during their movie. 

The door opens and James returns with three beers like he'd promised. 

"You're in my seat," He tells Alex, not even glancing at their still folded hands. 

George likes how comfortable he feels around them - he thinks they might be the best friends he's ever had. And Will. Of course Will. 

James passes them both a beer and taps Alex in the shoulder with the bottom of his bottle.

Alex lets go of George's hand and stands up, letting James sit down and immediately settling himself back on his lap. 

He feels a deep yellow-green. Jealousy. He imagines being them, living their relationship, open and bright. 

"George is in love with Will," Alex says, James not even having a chance to open his beer.

George sputters, looking up in an almost panicked way. 

"Shit - did you not want James to know? Fuck I should've asked first-"

"I already knew," James says, eyebrow cocked up like he was amused. 

"You what?" George says, staring at him blankly. 

"Alex may be oblivious as hell but I at least knew you were shagging," He shrugs, popping the cap of his beer and sipping at it. 

Alex leans so he can still look at him, "You didn't think to tell me about this discovery?"

"I didn't think they were ready," James says simply, "I didn't want to burst their bubble. Seemed they wanted to keep it private, so I didn't say anything."

George is quiet. James' deep royal purple feels like a relief, and he supposes that he's grateful his friend helped him keep his secret. Will's secret, he admits. 

* * *

_"I'm not ready," Will said, voice teetering on desperate. "I like you so much, it's not that, I just - I'm not-"_

_George frowned. He cupped both of Will's cheeks with his hands. Blue, but afraid. A soft, delicate blue with wavering edges and cold tones. "You do not have to anything. I like you, and I like what we have going on, and I don't want to end it, but your comfort comes first."_

_Will looked at him, eyes seeming trusting. He slid his hand over one of George's, pressing his face into his touch and let his eyes slip closed._

_"I adore you," He whispered, geordie accent rounding his voice in a teal color._

_"And I adore you. What do you think you wanna do?" He asks, letting his hand not held drop from Will's face, thumb brushing across his cheek._

_"Maybe," Will says, "We can start off private?"_

_George considered it for a moment. Did he want to be hidden? Have their friends try to set him and Will up with pretty girls in neon clubs?_

_No. He didn't want a girl, or another boy, he just wanted Will._

_"Yeah," George pressed a kiss to his nose, "Let's try it."_

* * *

He gets a call from Will one gray afternoon. He hesitates when answering, but he doesn't think he could hang up for the life of him. 

Everything had been reminding George of the boy, from the morning sky to the fabric of the shirt Will had left behind for him. 

"George," he hears over the phone, and feels himself sigh in relief. 

"Fuck," George whispers. The blue is faint but he can feel it through the phone. 

He hears Will's shakey breath from through the phone, "I miss you so bloody much."

George feels a tear wet his face but he doesn't bother wiping it away, leaning his head on his headboard. 

"I miss you too," He says, "Missed your voice."

"I wish you could see how pretty it is here."

‘Here’ being Scotland, George assumes.

He'd found out through Alex that Will was staying in an AirBnb in Glasgow. 

"I wish I could see your face," George says, feeling his voice break. "God it's been so long."

"Only a month," Will tries to reason, but George can hear the cracks in his voice and the confidence he'd try to portray. "And a half."

"When will you be back?" George asks after a moment of silence, "We don't even have to be together when you come back, I just - I need to see your smile again."

He hears Will inhale sharply, "George I - I love you."

His eyes screw closed. "Please come back."

"Soon," Will says, and then repeats, "I love you so much."

Indigo-violet with pools of blue that he missed more than he thinks he could into words. 

"I love you," George says softly, fingers digging into the skin on his knees, leaving crescent indents. 

"I love you," Will says one more time, and George bids him farewell. 

* * *

"You look nervous," Alex says, gentle. 

"Yeah mate, you look like you'll pop a blood vessel," Fraser laughs, patting at his back. 

James is busy tidying the apartment. They're at Will's without him even being there, which would be weird if Gee wasn't sitting right there as well. 

"He said he's coming up," She says, grinning and standing by the door. 

George feels a sinking in his chest. What if he wasn't ready to see Will after he'd been gone for almost two months?

He could dive out the window and run far, far away until Will is out of his mind, blues and purple accents with his indigo-violet 'i love you's. 

And then he's walking through the door.

"Will!" Gee calls, giving him a hug. He doesn't seem to notice his four friends - well, three plus whatever George is to him now. 

"It's William Lenney!" James calls, enveloping both him and Gee. 

"You little shits!" Will laughs as he gives Alex and Fraser hugs as well. 

Their eyes meet. Will's blue and his yellow are tangling in a messy and desperate dance - and then Will’s arms are around his waist. George burries his head in his chest, willing himself not to cry _again_. He’d done too much of that recently. 

He feels cold tears seep through his shirt and he realizes he doesn't have to cry, Will is doing it for him. 

He smells like vanilla and bonfires, he's warm and feels electric. 

"It's good to see you," Will says, pulling away but keeping a hand on his hip. Their friends pretend not to notice the way their hug lingered, and how Will’s eyes looked glassy. 

"So, did yous get me cake or do I have to find new friends?"

An hour of hidden looks and drinking and George finds himself on Will’s balcony. There’s a movie going on, but emotions seem to take control of him. 

He watches people pass through the streets below and decides what names would fit them best. A woman with a red coat and a confident walk seemed like a Scarlet. A couple who seemed to be loved up and infatuated couple that for some reason looked like a Leslie and Jordan. 

He’s interrupted by the balcony door opening. 

“Hey,” Will greets him, standing beside him and letting his elbows rest on the railing. 

George bites at his lip, anxiety tickling at his fingertips, “This is weird.”

“Weird in what way?” Will asks, but he already knows. 

“I thought it’d be weirder, though, honestly.”

Will shrugs, “All I know is that I missed you - Don’t get a big head though.”

George lets the anxiety wash through him and leave through the bars of the balcony. He leans his head on Will’s shoulder and feels an arm wrap around his waist. 

Shades of sapphire ignite around him, it’s been a while since he’d been able to feel the warmth of Will’s color - and it feels like a refreshing break from the grays and the dark clouds. 

“We can be just friends,” George says, “If that’s easier for you.”

He feels Will turn and suddenly there’s familiar lips on his, blue and purple and dashes of yellow as Will kisses him. 

George pulls away, colors feeling too bright and too much and too good - “You…”

“George, I left because I didn’t know if I was strong enough to be honest about who I was with everyone. With the world. I’d hid it for so long that suddenly being open felt like too much,” He explains, hands finding George’s, “But I fell in love with you. The kind of love where you stayed on my mind, your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your heart. That kinda love doesn’t just come everyday.”

Will looks down at their joined hands, stepping closer and looking down at him with the most genuine eyes he’d ever seen. “Listen, George - I’m still knew to the whole loving a boy thing, and I might get scared, but if there’s one thing I learned while sitting in a room in west Scotland is that no matter where I am, I want you there with me.”

George doesn’t even have to think before he’s leaning up on his toes, wrapping his fingers around the back of Will’s neck, and kissing him. It feels like those two months of missing him and the yearning for his presence was finally put at ease. 

A forest green, sunlight shining through leaves, spring air, it all represented what it felt like to love Will. 

“Green,” George whispers against his lips, “My second favorite color.”

Will looks confused for a moment when they separate, “Oh, your color thing.”

George nods, “Yeah, it feels green when you kiss me.”

Will smiles, then glances inside, “They’re all still watching a movie, we should go in.”

They kiss one more time, and a second time for good luck, and a third time just because it’s been two months god dammit. 

When they go back into the flat, George tries to pull his hand from Will’s out of habit, but the other just holds it tighter. He looks at him, and on his face is a smile. It’s a smile with hints of nervous yellow and reassuring pink. 

“I love you,” He mouths, and they walk into the living room. 

James and Alex don’t even look, but James is smiling like he knows anyway. Fraser glances down at their hands but just turns back to the screen and tells them that they didn’t miss much. Gee must have gone to bed already, because she was no place to be seen. 

Will settles onto the couch and wraps an arm around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his temple. A few minutes later, when everything feels normal, Will whispers to him, “So what’s your first favorite color, then?”

George smiles to himself, thinking of Will’s eyes, his touch, the way his smile brightens it all, and the way he mixes with George’s yellow. His mind and the way he can talk George out of any panic, his comforting gaze and the heart that drives him. How it feels to love him. 

“Blue,” He says, “Definitely blue.”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what ya think! any comments or kudos will be not only appreciated, but inspiring, so thank you. hope you enjoyed!


End file.
